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[Tuesday
August 9th: 2005 @ 6:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 discontent |
] |
Well i've been living with jess, and michelle for more then a month. Things have been aiight i guess. My brother moved back into my moms house so their treating him like a fucking king. At least im out of their, and i dont have to deal with that. I really need to go get my social security card, and my id. Hopefully leeker will take me tommorow to go get that. I feel like now that i live here i might actually be able to get on my feet. All i need now is a job. Cross my fingers for that to happen. Im sad that i dont see heather as much as i use to. Its hard cause i live in lakeridge now and im with other people now, but i really do miss my twin soul. I find out that morgan moved back. OMG you dont know how excited i was to hear about that cause i've missed my double d's sooooooooooo much. I know they probably think i dont care about them really anymore but i really do. Its not my fault i just need to get on my feet, and take care of shit that needs to be done. I will come see you guys soon, i promise. I guess thats all for right now, i just wanted to update so i can let people know whats been going on.
love you guys x 720347203974!
<3
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[Tuesday
July 5th: 2005 @ 5:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 relaxed |
] |
last night was fun. Me, heather, tina, angel, and alesha were all trying to look for weed. I think i called like 10 billion people. Then we decided to go to bobs and see if he could find us some. He called like a million people too and he got no luck. Then these 2 black guys were walking down the street, and tina asked them if they had any weed. They said yes and then they went and got it.lol. How easy is that? After all that trouble we went through all day long we finally found someone.
Then we went in bobs backyard and of course we smoked up, and i got high as shit!! : ) Then we walked to cannons stadium which was kind of a far walk from heathers. Maybe its cause i was high and i thought it was taking forever. It was nice though cause we sat on this hill and watched the fireworks. Uhm...... they were kind of gay. I mean the end was ok but it still wasn't that great. These big ass trees were in our way but we were all together, and having fun so thats what counted. : )
Then me, heather, and tina went to trinitys and stayed the night. It was fun, so im happy i had a pretty good 4th of july.
yay!
<3
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[Wednesday
June 29th: 2005 @ 6:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 giddy |
] |
ewww im sad. Morgan is moving in like 2 days. wtf is that shit? I had to help her pack her room that sucked most of all. : ( She better come visit soon or else!
uhm i've been looking for a job once again. I find myself always having to do that. Oh well hopefully american eagle will hire me cause i had an interview today.
-crosses fingers-
uhmmmm..........oh and i found out that sara moved back just today. eww what is that all about? She can't even say bye or anything. shady shady.
I saw katy and jessy last night. I was happy to see them cause its been like a month. Me n rhonda spent the night and i saw jessica again. I haven't seen her since jamies going away party and that was a million yrs ago. It was good seeing her, she was like i gave you my number and you never called. oopsie i always do that.
Sooo anyways uhm i miss my heffacita. I haven't seen her in a couple of days. Thats way too long for me so im def going to hit you up ho today. : )
thats about it in my interesting life. Hopefully the club this sat w/rhonda, and for 4th of july getting trashed so i can't remember what happened!
teehee
lata bitches!
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[Saturday
May 21st: 2005 @ 7:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sleepy |
] |
last night was fun..........but my mom came to heathers at like 10:30 in da morning waking my ass up for work.
ewwwwww i didn't want to go cause i had like 2 hrs of sleep, but i had to. So i end up going like an hour late. I felt like shit but the day got a little better. I dont know what anyone is doing tonight cause everybodys got different plans. ermmmmm i can't be out all night again cause i can't show up to work late...blah
im tired---------------suck it!
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| errmm......i dunno |
[Tuesday
May 17th: 2005 @ 7:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
ewwwwwwwie i dont like my livejournal no more. Heather needs to change it for me right this instant.
k thnx. : )
This past weeked rock my socks!!! I got Krunk friday and saturday.-woot woot- When do i not get Krunk on the weekend. shiiiiiit. Me, pinkie, rhonda, tina, and cale went to this dugout thingy. Of course everyone has already heard cause heather posted a journal about it but it was sooooooooooo much fun. Then we did the same thing sat except morgeeeeeeee came too. !yay! I haven't hung out with her in forever. my goodness! Uhm yeah about cale, i like him a lot, (he's cool) bitches thats all i got to say about that. muahahahaha
I hope we get to go to D'anns this friday or sat, and all of us bitches can go and partyyyyyyyyy!
Guess what?????
I GOT A MUTHA FUCKIN JOB!!! -shakes booty- I'm soooooooooo happy that i got this job (quiznos). So uhm somebody that loves me can come visit me. 10-3 thnx and come again!
<3
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| Friday Bitches! |
[Friday
May 13th: 2005 @ 11:57am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
uhm tonight i dont know what anybody is doin. Nobody has really planned anything or i just haven't heard about anything.
hmmmm i dunno whats goin on??????
sat heather is going to hfs with morgan. I wanted to go soooooooooooooooo badd but i dont have 40$. eeeewwwie not fair. :( I haven't seen morgan in like 548907348 yrs.....godd dammnit! So i guess me, rhonda, alesha, katy, and some other people are going to apex. We wanted to go to a different club but no luck. Apex it is........
Oh did i tell everyone that i need a FUCKING job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| fo shizzle |
[Thursday
May 5th: 2005 @ 10:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
Can you say wake and bake?!?!?!?
thats what me, and heffacita are doing right now. :)
<3
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| Mixed emotions......: / |
[Friday
April 1st: 2005 @ 12:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indescribable |
] |
ermmmm it's been a frustrating 2 weeks but not as bad as it could of been. Heathers parents are freaking out like always about me staying at her house. Now my new name from her mom is "crackhead". Wow thats cool, and i found out that my dad who lives in nc told her the other day that i was a big crackhead and i do it all time. NEWS FLASH i use to be like that, but not no more. I do admit i have a drug problem sometimes, but when i do i expect my friends to be their for me, and help me get through cause its something you cannot do on your own believe me ive already been their. So heathers parents dont want me to get heather into it. I'm not getting her into anything that she can't say no to. I know everyone sais heather is so gullable and blah blah blah but her doing drugs and having the choice to say no is the same thing as if she was being peer pressued to anything. I'm tired of people blaming me for her actions. What hurts the most though is when my family meaning my friends look down on me when i have these habits, and they keep their distance n not call me or talk to me about it. I want someone to at least say somethihng to me about it instead of talking about it to eachother so you can be their and say "at least i told you, and i tried."
I dunno i guess im being an emo fuck right now, this is my only way at the time to get it out.
Another thing that has been bothering me is my relationship towards noe n naomi. I love them girls with all my heart, and i know i've fucked up in the past a couple of times but i would never want to do anything to make them not like me anymore. Its just everytime i hang out with them it hasn't been fun for me. Everytime i see them now im always asking are you mad at me or did i do something wrong. It never use to be like that. For example last night when me n heather were at the hospital with rhonda they came to pick us up. They both hardly even said 2 words to me, and they were all talking to jaime and goofing off. I remember when i use to see them naomi would always run to me and be like " Hey Benjamin". She would have the biggest smile on her face and that meant something to me. Now she never smiles anymore, and were not close like we use to be. I call them almost everyday and if not every other day, and im always like "what are you guys doing today, do you want to hang out"? Then we never hang out but still they manage to get jaime everyday. I just wish they would be honest with me cause if they ever wanted to know anything thats going on with me i would let them know straight up.
hmmmm this conversation is depressing like woah.
-deep breath-
Lets change the mood. Oh yeah its FRIDAY.........yay!!!!!!
Me n heather are going to the mall, its always a friday thing. Were meeting sara their proabably, i can't wait to see her its been like a week since we got to chill, and i miss her talking and acting like a black girl everytime she sees somebody she knows. She has me rollin everytime. Then later on I'm suppose to hang out with heather, katy, n james like around 10, and then go to the club with my love rhonda. I hope we get to go cause i've been so excited to go out with her cause i know me and her are going to break it down like woah. -shakes booty- Me n heather took care of her last night when she was at the hospital. I had to put her shoes on and carry her stuff while heather kept her standing up. I love her she's my bf, at least thats what i tell everyone. It's cute....teehee
Then sat jen n beth are picking me up, and im staying the night over at beths. I love them bitches. Were going to probably get Crunk. I feel special when people like that are way older want to hang out with me cause they make me not feel like im young. They treat me as if im their age. <3Jen<3 <3Beth<3
Damn this entry is long like boosh but i can't go to sleep cause heathers parents dont know im here right now. So shhhhhhhhhhh....
But i guess i'll go for now.
later
homies!!!!!
<3
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[Tuesday
March 15th: 2005 @ 7:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 will be soon! |
] |
I'm sitting here with heather, and sara and im dying right now for a good buzz.-wink wink- Hopefully my dreams will come true.
-crosses fingers-
I went to New York this past weekend with noe, naomi, and her family. It was so much fun. We went to the apollo or however you spell it to see her brothers perform. They did so good me, and naomi were dancing and breaking it down like woah. -shakes booty- I can't wait to go again cause its going to be off the hook. (naomi
Tommorow me, heather, and sara are going to davids. !yay! I get to see my rob. I like him sooooooooooooooooooooo much.(rob<3)
ermmmmmm, i need to get a job like woah. Can someone help me??
Oh did i tell you im back in VA!!!!!!!!
<3
P.S- ummmm me, heather, and sara are some sneaky bitches!!!teehee
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| -yawns- |
[Saturday
December 11th: 2004 @ 11:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
Well theirs less then a month until noe, naomi, and heffacita come get me. yay!!
-jumps for joy-
Im so fucking excited to go back to va and chill with my homies. I miss everyone soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much........
Im going to get so crunk, and do some mad shopping.(woot woot) Oh and im so excited for x-mas!-shakes the booty- Heather is going to send me a box in the mail with a whole bunch of stuff. Im going to be like "dad look what heather got me". Muahahahaha
I feel special like woah....teehee
Well im going to hop off this bitch but one more thing. ITS BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS EVERYWHERE YOU GO! (corey had to help me with the ending)
<3
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| Bored so heres some mama jokes |
[Friday
October 29th: 2004 @ 3:01am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
yo mama is so ugly when she was born, the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows.
You cousin so ugly that when he threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
yo mama has one short leg and that why she always walking in circles...
yo mama got so much hair on her upper lip she has to braid it
yo mama is so poor that your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.
yo mama is so poor when I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."
yo mama is so fat her fave food is seconds.
yo mama is so fat she deep fries her toothpaste.
Yo mama's so damn fat that when she was kidnapped her face covered every side of the milk carton!
Yo mama's so poor, TV dinner trays are her good china.
Hey they might sound trif to you but i laughed for a couple of seconds so suck it if you dont like it!!!
<3
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| Feeling the need to express myself! |
[Tuesday
October 26th: 2004 @ 1:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 awake |
] |
eek!!!!
I dunno whats going on with me. I dont want to be in North Carolina anymore. Im so depressed all the time, not to mention i cry a lot cause i miss all of my best friends! Im not trying to have a everyone feel sorry for me day, but its so obvious that i dont like it here. I never slit my wrist until i moved here, and now ive managed to do it 3 times already! Thats not good. I get so sad when i talk to heather or naomi, and they tell me how much fun their having, and how everything is great. I feel like im forgotten sometimes in Dale city. I know that might sound stupid but its the truth. I know if i left taylorsville (hickville) nc i would miss two girls that i have become best friends with for about 2 yrs now. I love barbara and erica, and if i could take them with me i would but i guess things dont work out that way. Im also looking at my future, and taylorsville isnt really the land of oppertunity. Heather and laura know exactly what im talking about because they have already been here. I know if i was back in dale city i could get a job and get on with my life. Me moving in with my mom is dead thing to me cause me and my step-dad do not get a long. Ive already kicked his ass once and i dont want to do it again. So sorry heather that isnt going to work out, nice try though. I cant even get a job in this hell hole because their are so many rednecks here and everywhere i go their are rednecks who hate gay people, and i cant deal with that shit everyday. Id rather kill myself then to deal with that shit every day of my life. Its already hard being gay as it is. I dont know what to do, it seems like my life has been so fucked up these past yrs. I dropped out of highschool. I dont have a job and im in trouble with my dad all the time. Its never going to end until i get out of this place. Im not saying everything in dale city is going to be peaches and cream but it would be a lot easier. I hope that noe, and naomi find an apt soon cause i dont know if i can take this anymore. I know it would be so much easier if i lived with them including heather of course. Not saying that i would have the easy road but then i would have responsibilities, and i want to grow up and become a better person.
-crosses fingers-
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| -sighs- |
[Tuesday
October 26th: 2004 @ 3:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
I guess theirs nobody to talk to....I stayed up until 4 in da morning hoping i would talk to someone but i guess not.
grrrr..........lonely night once again!
Heres my wonderful livejournal.....blah blah blah
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| Late night internet talk with heffacita!!!! |
[Sunday
October 17th: 2004 @ 1:50am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
grrrrrrrrrr.........
Ben needs to get out of nc right now!! Im going madd i tell you. Its corrrrazzzzyyyyyy!!!!!!! I need to be wrestling with heather right now and slamming down some mutha fucking rice, and watching emeril. Thats what i need to be doing but noooooooooo i gots to be in this fucking place which is hell!
Ive been doing much of nothing trying to get a job at subway here in hickville and of course i get shut down once again. It happened in va now its happening here. WTF????? I spend all kinds of money their and they cant even give me the job. Aint that some bullshit????
Oh well fuck them then.......I need a job like woah, im tired of getting money off of my dad!! He is so fucking cheap. All he does is spend his money on drugs and the house bills. Whats up with that???
la la la la la la la
I cant wait until i turn 18 in january. Im going to a gay club with jessy and some other bitches!!hehehehe you know i love you guys. Im going to party like woah! Ill probably end up puking or some shit like that but hopefully i find a man cause nigga is getting lonely over here. Right now im in a chatroom with heather and roberto so that basically explains my night for ya cause its some crazy shit!
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| My survey i guess..... |
[Friday
September 17th: 2004 @ 1:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
Sex: male
Height: 6"3
Current Bands/Artists: Taking back sunday/Coheed and Cambria
Clothing: Black jeans, and a my chemical romance shirt
Accessories: braclets, HIM necklace, rings, and earrings
This or that...
Nice smiles or nice eyes? both
Jeans or skirts? jeans
Boots or sneakers? Chucks
Natural or make-up? make-up
Restaurants or fast food? Restaurants
Italian food or Chinese? Italian
Dark or light eyes? light eyes
Streaked or dyed hair? Dyed
Vampires or Gods? none
Shakespeare or Greek mythology? shakespeare
Milk shakes or floats? My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
Drugs or cigarettes? drugs
Football or cheerleading? football
Cake or pie? cake
How...
Do you want to die? not right now
Do you brush your teeth? yes
Much time do you take to dress up? 30 min maybe
Do you like your life? its alright could be better
Well do most people know you? yeah from front to back
Common or original is this survey? very common
Often do you smile? only when i laugh i think
Many times a week do you eat junk food? too many to count
Do you..
Sing? yes but im not that good at it
Dance? all the time its what i want to do
Laugh a lot? yeah mostly all day
Like spicy food? mmm yes
Prefer bagels over yogurt? yes
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? no
Want one? yeah im lonely
Think babies are cute? yep
Children in general? brats
Believe in fortune cookies? yes
Believe in life after death? yes
Believe in life after love? yeah
Believe that anything is possible? yes
Believe that everyone has a purpose in life? yeah
Know what yours is? to be everyones entertainer for life!
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| Last night was fucking weird!! |
[Thursday
September 16th: 2004 @ 12:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
gloomy |
] |
Woooooooooooooo well last night me and heather had no computer to get on so we were bored like woah.
blah blah blah.......Thats how the mood was at the time.
Me and heather decided to go out back and ummmmmmmmmm hit the can (and i dont mean take a shit)!!! Woop Woop.
It was fun like usuall. I danced for like an hour straight for heather. It was funny i was tired as shit though so i decided to take a little break. Heather was drawing on paper the whole time and i was like hey that sounds like a good idea. So i joined her. Heather was like ben "close your eyes and just let your pen go". I was like ummmmmmmmmm ok. Heather told me it was someone talking to her telling her what to draw. So i was going with the flow and i did the same thing. I ended up drawing a fat old woman and her name was shirley....who the fuck is shirley?? I dont even know. Heather drew a hippy chic going down a slide, and her name was sally..This sounds strange i know but bare with me.. So me and heather kept talking to shirley and sally for like an hour. Drawing all this weird bullshit. I was asking shirley if she would kick sally's ass. I dont know what the fuck was going on with us. I guess that can got to our head. Then we went upstairs and of course you know we grubbed the fuck out. I dont even remember what i ate??? I kept drawing on heathers face though. I drew like 10 crosses. I dont know if i was trying to save her life or keep her away from something. That can really fucked with our heads.
Then we passed the fuck out!!!
The End.
soooooooooooooooooooo.....that was a really weird night but you know it had to happen with me and heather hopefully we dont repeat the same thing tonight!!
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| My face is hurting........ |
[Tuesday
September 7th: 2004 @ 2:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
Ahhhhhhhh last night i went to tinas house to hang out with her. It was fun at first. Me and her were hanging out with chris, jessica, slicky, and drew. Me and tina got 2 40's.
Holler!! We were going to get crunk. I got really drunk and high and i threw up like 10 times or something.
blah blah blah
I passed out on the couch and then this dude named tommy came in and was telling tina and drew that he was going to hit me in my sleep. Let me remind you i was passed out from everything. I was getting up!!
Well..........tina went in the other room with drew and all of sudden from what tina told me she heard a big punch and then drew told tommy to get out. He punched me in the face really hard. I didnt even feel it at all. She woke me up like 10 mins later and i was hurting really bad. She was telling drew that she was calling the cops and everything. I was real emotional and still drunk. I was crying and everything. How could somebody hit someone in the face when their drunk??? That is crazy!! I was really upset and i still am. If you feel like you have to hit someone while their passed out and because of their sexuality then their fucked up in the head.
Im just letting everyone know that being gay is a hard lifestyle and its sick for someone like me to go through shit like this!!
Me and heather are going to davids house today to hang out and david said hes going to play my favorite led song on quitar..awwwwwwwwwwww hes a really great guy and heather is def lucky to have a guy like that like her!!!
<3
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| Ben rules at everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[Wednesday
September 1st: 2004 @ 5:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
anxious |
] |
Yesterday me, heather, and laura went to david's house and it was corrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrazzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!
first of all when we go their we went to his back yard and heather and laura were like ummmmm this isnt his house. Sooooooooo we walked all the way down the street and ended up at a dead end. Then we turned around and walked back, come to find out that was his house and we are fucking idiots!!!! I felt so stupid even though it wasnt my fault because ive never been their.
anyways we played golden eye for like 2 hrs straight, then rob came over. WOop WOop you know i was excited.........Oh by the way i kick everyone's ass at 007. Thats right i rule!!!!!!!!!
Then we went in the jamming room, and laura was the drummer, i was the lead singer, rob and david were the quitarist, and heather was the groupie! We jammed like woah but i didnt sing because im too shy.......hahaahhaha.
Later on that day steve, willow, and angela showed up. It was on in golden eye, i was like oh hell no im kicking bitches asses!!! AND I DID..like always. Heather and david were too much up eachothers asses to play so they suck.
muaahaahahahah
Then we walked down the street, and rob and them played some shoe game. I dont even know what they were doing. It was weird but still amusing. Then angela gave us a ride home. She is sooooooooooooooooo sweet!!!!
Thats about it, im going to tell you what happened later on that night at heathers house with me, heather, and laura....muahahahaha
well im going to gooo get ready katy is coming over and we is chillin like bitches!
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| Tired.................................. |
[Saturday
August 28th: 2004 @ 7:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 dorky |
] |
The highlight of this weekend already was that bomb ass party that was last night at this guys house tony. Which i dont want to forget to mention that he is gay and the hotness!!!!!!!! Woop Woop.. Me, heather, laura, naomi, and noe went to this party, and their was a lot of gay people. Thats my kind of place. (holler) Well you fucking know what happens at partys. Damn do i got to explain myself. Lapdances, making out, and drinking, and all that other bullshit.
It was fun but i wanted to stay the night their for obvious reasons because the guy was hot. heheehhe. I tried to get naomi and heather to stay with me but it wasnt happening. Laura was puking everywhere and i guess we all just decided to go but that party was fucking fun. We gots to do it again.
I didnt throw up hooray for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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twist_munky's journal
